


Stuck

by lalez



Category: S.W.A.T. (TV 2017)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:20:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25990480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lalez/pseuds/lalez
Summary: Getting cleared for work was a piece of cake. But getting stuck in an elevator and then being stuck again between a rock and a hard place was not the plan Chris had. Can she find a solution? (Set after the Season 3 "finale" Diablo)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 34





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Breaking Point](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25706860) by [lalez](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lalez/pseuds/lalez). 



Chris taps her foot anxiously while waiting for the agonizingly slow elevator. She just had her final check-up after the operation in South LA. Two weeks on desk and support duty had been torture. She was ready to get back in the field, and thankfully she had been cleared. A glance at her watch tells her she still has plenty of time to get to HQ for the shift. The thought of actually being out with the guys puts a smile on her lips. She missed being able to help. When the metal doors finally open, she breathes a sigh of relief and steps in. But just for a second. She hears someone calling her name and entering behind her. 

“Chris? Is that you?”

She can’t help the awkward half smile-frown on her lips when she acknowledges Ty. She isn’t sure he knows about the text Kira sent a couple of days ago. 

_“Hey, you. I miss you. I understand why you felt you had to leave, but still, I would love it if you came to the wedding. Please consider it and text me back with your decision. Love Kira”_. 

Chris has been debating what to reply. Even consulted Street, who has been less than helpful and somewhat living in his own world. Inward Chris rolls her eyes. Jim Street in love and happy. Who would’ve thought?

Out of habit, she shortly checks her surroundings and low and behold the elevator is already occupied.

In the corner of her eye, she notices a woman standing in business attire, blazer, pencil skirt, and flats. And perfectly manicured fingers.

When she finally lifts her eyes back to Ty, she can see that he is waiting for an answer. 

“Sorry, lost in my thoughts.” Chris decides to offer and checks if the button for the parking structure and her level is illuminated while hoping that anything Ty could’ve said sounds like two friends catching up or something. Chris generally isn’t shy about her life. Still, the relationship with Ty and Kira was pushing her level of confidence, especially debating that in public, already representing SWAT through her attire. 

“I asked what you were doing here, and if you’ve made a decision about coming to the wedding?” Ty explains his look. 

“Ty, I am sorry. I really don’t think that’s a good idea.” Chris replies cautiously and glances at the elevator signs. 

_Just one more level, and I can get out of here._

The whole situation is awkward, but thankfully right now, their exchange sound simply like an ex-girlfriend not willing to watch the guy get married to someone else. Which in itself is pretty funny to Chris since it isn’t because of Ty that she is dreading going to that wedding.

Suddenly the lights flicker, and the cabin stops abruptly. 

_Just great._

On autopilot, Chris reaches for the emergency call button, but nothing happens. She hits the button a couple more times before pulling out her phone.

The screen illuminates for only a second and goes dark… “I shouldn’t have been playing around in the waiting room.” She mumbles to herself when she looks in Ty’s direction. 

“Do you have your phone with you? I need to call into work. Tell them I am going to be late. Great first day back and…” 

“No, I left it in the car. I was just picking up a prescription. Come on. Someone will get us out, and your team will probably figure out where you are.” Ty replies and tries to offer some comfort.

_This just keeps getting better and better._

Suddenly she hears the third person speak from behind. 

“Chris, you can use my phone.”

Before turning around, Chris can see a slight surprise on Ty’s face, and she can’t deny Molly Hicks was about the last person she expected to see this morning. Next to Ty or Kira, of course.

Grateful, she takes the phone and starts dialing by heart. Chris holds the cell to her ear and hears the dial tone twice, and then the line goes dead. She frowns and furrows her brows. There is only one reason she can think of why there is emergency lighting in a stopped elevator, and cell service cuts out almost immediately after.

She lets out a frustrated huff. 

“It didn’t go through, sorry. We will have to wait it out until they can turn on the electricity again. But thanks anyway for letting me use your work phone. You didn’t have to.”

Chris tries her best to put on a reassuring smile while handing the phone back to the blonde sitting in the corner but that falters at the matter of fact correction Molly directs at her “That was my personal cell.”

There is an uneasy silence in the cabin as Molly pulls out her headphones and just ignores Chris’s curious stare.

Chris finally decides to sit down too, and Ty scoots next to her. She doesn’t react to that at first as her brain still tries to figure out why Street’s number wouldn’t show up as a contact on Molly’s personal cell. What the hell happened there? And why did Molly’s matter of fact response make her feel shitty and if she were being blamed?

Ty’s voice pulls her back to reality.

“Kira misses you. We both do, and we would love it if you’d still come to the wedding.”

“I just said that’s not a good idea.”

“You could bring a friend. So, you’re not alone, and he always knew you better than us anyway.”

Inward Chris prayed Ty wouldn’t mention a name and that the darn steel trap would move. So, she could get out of this place and be free again. 

“Ty, I still think it’s a bad idea. And I can’t just ask him to come. He has a girlfriend and probably already plans.” Chris can see Ty’s slightly confused look and knows just what he wants to implicate next, so she shoots him a glare to zip it.

Just when the lights flicker again, and it feels like the cabin might move soon, she hears a soft dejected voice from her left.

“I’m pretty sure he would be happy to go with you. As far as I know, he is single.”

Chris is stunned into place and can’t move. When the doors open, she watches Molly rush out, and Chris swears, she heard a sob coming from the blonde woman.

She feels Ty’s questioning look and his hand on her arm. 

“She is or was the girlfriend, right?” 

“If you’d ask me, she is. I have no clue what that was about.”

“Just, promise me you’ll reply to Kira’s text. Soon. Okay?” Ty searches for her eyes, and Chris swallows past a lump. “Will do. Don’t worry.”

After that, Ty leaves with a quick wave, and Chris turns to finally get to her car.

A lot of questions swirl in her head, and she knows just the person to answer all of them. But maybe, just maybe the woman a couple of paces ahead of her can answer some of them already.

Chris was just about to call out to Molly when she suddenly stops dead in her tracks as a melodic, generic ringtone starts going off. Chris can see the shoulders of the other woman stiffen slightly as she picks up.

Chris observes as Molly pulls open the passenger side door of the white Mini she had been admiring when she parked her truck right next to it. And so, she knew she had to use the remote to announce her presence. Already with a slightly uneasy feeling in her stomach, she approaches her car and overhears the exasperated sigh and answer. 

“I didn’t call you. Hang on.”, and a phone gets pressed in her hand. “It’s for you.”

Well, that can only mean one thing. 

“Hello?” she speaks into the phone still with a slight questioning tone but can’t say she is overly surprised to hear his voice. 

“Chris? Why did you call me with …”? 

“My phone was dead, and we were stuck in an elevator together. Can you just tell Hondo I am cleared and, on my way, as soon as this is sorted here?” Chris interrupts the stream of confused sentences she is sure would follow. Street’s voice still sounds confused and somewhat dejected when he asks her if Chris could pass the phone back. 

“I need to talk to Molly. Can you…” 

“Yeah, see you at HQ.”

After Molly has taken back her phone, she doesn’t hold it up to her ear but simply presses the red button to end the call. Chris can’t help the confused look on her face.

“Molly whatever he did yesterday, give him a chance to explain…” Chris starts but stops immediately after the blonde across from her scoffs. 

“You are kidding, right? We haven’t spoken in two weeks.” Molly takes in a deep breath, probably to calm herself because her hands are slightly shaking. “But you know what? Chris, don’t take this the wrong way, but you are about the last person I want to discuss this with. I got to get to work. Can you…” a hand wave ushers Chris out from behind the Mini, and as soon as the path is clear, the car moves and Molly drives away.

_I hope he has a good explanation for this._

  



	2. Frustration

As soon as Chris arrives at HQ, she runs into Tan, who gives her a quick celebratory hug and the info they are supposed to get to the courthouse and wait on a warrant. As much as it frustrates her that she can't corner Street and get him to explain what she had just experienced, she realizes that discussing that at work could harm him, and her too. For some reason Chris has a bad feeling. The way Molly had dismissed her back in that parking garage or even the comment in the elevator. She lets out a frustrated huff and leans against the marbled wall of the courthouse corridor.

_Quit overthinking this. It's probably only some stupid misunderstanding. Molly is overreacting because Street hasn't said anything._

Chris stares ahead and sees the woman who has occupied her thoughts since this morning walking along the corridor stopping to check something on her phone. She didn't hear Tan coming back, but his voice pulls her back to reality. "It still hurts, huh? Two weeks is not enough time for a bruise like that to heal. Take it easy." Chris turns to him confused but then realizes two things almost instantly. One she still rubs her chest subconsciously and second, two weeks. She lets out a slightly frustrated growl and hangs her head. Tan stares at her a little shocked and holds up his hands as if he were to surrender. "Sorry." Chris offers with a grimace. "Can you wait here for a second? I need to try and talk to Molly over there." She motions her head to the blonde standing a little way down the corridor talking to another lawyer. After Tan nods his approval and tells her he'll meet her back here to get the signed warrant, Chris walks over.

She waits politely until the man in the expensive-looking suit leaves. After a short clearing of her throat, she starts: "Molly can I just talk to you for a minute?" The furrowed brows and the slight crossing of arms in front of Molly's body tell Chris the other woman is not exactly in the mood but Molly nods curtly anyway. "Look, two weeks ago Street probably wasn't in his right mind. We just survived a shootout, and seriously if the guys hadn't shown up when they did, we would both be dead right now. I am only alive because he kept it together. My guess is he let his walls down with you. He trusts you; he feels safe with you. Just talk to him when he calls again, okay."

Chris can see a glimmer of surprise on Molly's face, but that gets covered pretty quickly by anger. "Chris I am not that stupid, kay. I can spot PTSD or something like it. Have you talked to Jim? I am guessing no. And I told you before, I really don't want to talk to you about this. He had two weeks," the blonde woman stops her voice from rising any more by taking a deep, calming breath, which doesn't seem to do much as she is still worked up and visibly shaking "He had two weeks, to call me and he didn't. It's over. And it wasn't my choice." After that Chris can only watch Molly walk away.

_That didn't work._

But she can't dwell on that fact too much as the warrant finally got signed and they need to get back to HQ, so they can get the team and roll out.

The rest of their shift is thankfully busy, but as soon as it quiets down Chris's thoughts return to her encounter in the elevator this morning. The whole situation still seems so surreal.

"And why on earth is _everyone_ implying I have some sort of torrid affair with Street? ", runs through her head. She'd thought after the early days and the silly bets Tan and Luca had placed this was over. Especially after he had started dating Molly. Chris tries to affirm herself again with her self-imposed ruleset: "I won't ever date a fellow cop again." What she simply can't get her head around is that even Molly seems to blame her.

Chris wants to desperately just walk over to Street and pull him away ask why Molly would blame her, but that plan gets shot to hell when she sees the food truck and a beaming Luca out on the quad.

"Taste test time, people. Come on up. We have a new special for you to try."

_At least food is settled then for tonight._

Chris enjoys the light banter between the team, and it feels good to be back to full duty. Tonight, she realizes that Street is a little more withdrawn than normal. Had he been that way for the past two weeks? She is wracking her brain, but can't seem to remember any noticeable changes. Her phone buzzes on the table and when she looks up from checking the message, she sees Street grabbing his helmet and walking off with only a wave in their general direction. Right now, she doesn't even care about the curious stares in her direction when she scrambles and goes after him. He owes her an explanation.

"Hey, stop. Wait a minute." She calls after him and he turns after reaching his bike and looks back at her, just standing there holding his helmet. She waits, but he doesn't say anything.

Chris tries her most vicious stare, but all she gets is annoyed silence. So, she tries another tactic.

"You've got nothing to say after this morning? That wasn't weird to you?" but again, all she gets is the silent treatment. "Come on, if you don't tell me what's going on, I can't help you fix it."

She sees him switching the helmet between hands and hears his deep breath intake. She searches for his eyes, but his head hangs low.

" _You_ can't fix it, Chris. I am not even sure I can fix anything right now. Was that what you wanted to hear?" she can hear sadness and defeat in his voice and that confuses her to no end. When he straddles his bike, she steps a little closer and forces him to look at her by grabbing the handlebars and standing right in front of the wheel. The inflection on her not being able to fix his relationship sort of confirming her fear that she might be the reason, but why? That is still a mystery and so she continues with her questions:

"What happened? Are you okay? I mean Molly said that you hadn't spoken in 2 weeks. Why?" She asks, confused. "Why would you just end it with her?"

Chris notices a flash of hurt cross his features, but he doesn't explain. Just tells her to get out of the way, as he is on his way to meet Buck. The inflection on her former team leader's name tells her the visit is as much for Bucks benefit as for his own. How could she have missed that her friend is in pain?

_Are we really friends?_


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning when Chris pulls into the garage, Tan has also just arrived and waits for her to get out of her truck. She can see Streets bike a little further down, and she immediately has his sad, hurt expression at the forefront of her mind again.

"Morning." She greets Tan, who is leaning against his tailgate with a coffee and gets a nod in return. Chris sees his curious eyes and knows immediately he is going to ask about yesterday. It had been weird that he hadn't asked immediately after her talk with Molly at the courthouse, but with that freakshow yesterday after shift, this interrogation was to be expected. "Spit it out." She prompts him to get this out of the way in the motor pool without too many ears around.

"Are you okay?" her colleague asks in a soft, almost soothing voice to Chris's surprise.

''Yeah, everything is okay. Just still anxious to be back, I guess.'' she tries to deflect, but immediately Chris spots the quirked eyebrow on Tan's face.

"You sure? Because from what I saw yesterday, you seem to be stuck in the middle of whatever happened between Street and Molly.", she hears him press on.

"You noticed that, huh?" Chris tries to buy time and figure out what to say. She can't really say anything as she has no idea what's even going on.

"Looked intense, and believe me, we all noticed. Especially if you consider the relief on his face when Hondo assigned me to get the warrant with you and not him." She can't deny that she understands that. In his place, she'd wanted some time to figure out what to say too. But he hadn't said anything yet. Street refusing to talk irritates Chris, and her irritation gets intensified when the hurt in his eyes flashes again in her mind.

A soft clearing of Tan's throat brings her back to the motor pool.

"Guess I can understand that. It was a little weird when he called Molly back after I called him on her phone. But that's a topic for another time. Come on, let's get inside, or we will be late." Chris tries to get out of guessing what is going on. She looks on as Tan grabs his bag and turns to head inside.

"I get you. You don't know what's going on either. Let's hope Luca got somewhere with Buck."

She can't help the little groan that escapes her mouth. Sometimes this team can get a bit too overbearing.

The team starts with fitness and endurance training. It is supposed to be a light day. They are only scheduled as back up in case something terrible pops off.

While Chris is on the bike, she can sneakily observe Street with the sandbag. He is hitting the bag pretty hard at a high frequency. He looks frustrated and furious. He only stops his assault to take a phone call, after which his eyes form to small slits. An expression she can't remember to have ever seen before.

Chris shakes her head and concentrates on the bike exercise until she needs a water break.

In the kitchen, she lets the cold liquid flow down her throat when Hondo walks in.

"Ah, here you are. Can you get cleaned up and drive downtown? Pick up some files for me while I set up the next round of drills?"

"Sure, just leave me a note in my locker, so I know where I am going. I'm gonna grab a shower in the meantime." Chris agrees, puts the bottle back in the fridge, and heads for the locker room.

Freshly showered Chris heads for the charger. Sitting in the driver's seat, she pulls out the note with the address she is supposed to drive to.

_Middle of Downtown. Great. The streets are probably gridlocked in midday traffic. This little trip will take up the rest of the shift._

Chris hates feeling as if Hondo is taking it easy on her. She wants to be back. She got cleared. But she knows not to argue.

What she likes even less is that she probably won't have an opportunity to try one more time to get Street to talk to her. It seems ridiculous that the man who usually can talk anything to death does not want to share now.

The rest of her day is relatively uneventful, and when she finally makes it back to HQ shift is over, and the team has already left. So, she gets ready to head home herself.

She is still sitting in her car in front of her building, typing up the reply to Kira, declining the invitation when the passenger door gets opened, and someone drops into the seat next to her. She doesn't have to look to know it's Street. But she does turn her head anyway. He seems angry and annoyed.

"Why is Luca calling Buck about me? What did you tell them?"

"I didn't say anything. He is just worried about you after yesterday. We all are." She sees his unbelieving look and adds, "I really am."

"Why, Chris, why can't you just mind your business? You managed to ignore me just fine for weeks. Months even." The man next to her explodes with little warning. His voice is sharp, and it hurts.

"Wow, okay?" She stares at him, shocked by his aggressive attitude. "I was really worried about you, you know. I was trying to get you to talk to me, but you won't, they all saw that. What did you think would happen?

She fixes him with her eyes and stays quiet. Chris figures anything she says right now won't help solve this mess.

"Why do you care now? Why do you want to talk now all of a sudden? When I wanted … needed to talk to you last time you shut me out. Pushed me as far away as you could. And now… now I don't know anymore…" She is staring at him the whole time, but his eyes stay fixed on his idling hands.

Chris is glad his voice is losing the aggressive edge gradually, but still, his accusatory statements hurt, especially when they aren't entirely true.

"I always cared." Her hand searches for his and covers it. "Talk to me. I know you said I can't fix it, but maybe I can help you work it out, and you can fix it yourself." She continues with a squeeze to his hand to show him she is there for him. Here, with him.

When he stays silent and pulls his hand back, her heart breaks, and she needs to get out of the car.

"If you want to talk, I'll be upstairs. If you want to accuse me of something, just spit it out, but I am going inside and get a tea."

She can see his eyes shoot up, and if it weren't too strange, she would've said he is something between nervous and scared. The way his hand scratches the back of his neck and a really unusual pink tinge on his cheeks only strengthens that assessment. Nonetheless, he gets out of the car and waits silently for her to lead the way.


	4. Confessions

By now, Chris is sure Jim Street is nervous, and that scares her. Combined with all that happened in the past days and his explosion in the charger, she knows she is at least part of the reason for this situation. But how? She is sure she kept her distance. Gave him space for his relationship. Her brain nags her about the reaction to the undercover op, but she pushes that away. Molly had indicated everything had happened two weeks ago.

Chris leans against her kitchen counter for a couple of seconds before moving back to the sofa. Two mugs of tea in her hands. One she places in front of Jim and then curls her feet under herself in the armchair.

The silence in her apartment is not uncomfortable but still a little unnerving. Chris hopes it really is a good sign that Street showed up. She is almost sure she will get the answers she needs tonight. But for some reason, he stays silent. She notices he took the cup of tea and put back down immediately with a frown on his face.

Chris can't help herself with her next comment.

"Don't knock the tea. It's the strongest drink you gonna get in this apartment." The second she is finished, his head shoots up, and she can see the shock in his eyes. But only for a second and smile breaks on his lips. Accompanied by a chuckle, he asks, "What is it with women and tea?"

"It is a hot beverage meant to soothe. And women are smart."

"Why did you assume I ended things?" Chris hears his defeated voice after a couple of sipping sounds. That was not what she expected him to say.

"Molly said you hadn't spoken in 2 weeks and that it wasn't her choice. So even if you didn't, she thinks it is over for sure."

"Are you sure?" "Pretty sure. She deleted your number." And considers herself single. She refrains from adding. He already looks beaten, and she still has no clue what happened.

Chris leans forward a little bit to put down her mug. She wants to ask if he is ready to talk, tell her what is going on when she hears Street _continue._

"I should've listened to you. But I had to be honest."

"I don't understand… What did you think you had to be honest about?"

It seems impossible, but Street's shoulders slump even more before he looks up and directly into her eyes. She saw that expression before—the haunted, sad eyes.

"Why would you tell her about that? I told you it's a bad idea."

"I had to. She assumed you were in the hospital, and it slipped out that we are back to being friends. I needed to explain." While he is getting himself worked up and spits out bits and pieces, Chris walks around the coffee table to sit next to him. "Hey," she starts and squeezes his shoulder. "Calm down. This isn't helping right now."

Chris waits until Street stops mumbling and lifts his eyes to hers.

"Now, tell me what Molly said to you after your _explanation._ "

"She told me to deal with my feelings, figure out what I want, and call her." Chris hears him whisper. The obvious question would be "Have you?" but she can't bring herself to ask that. Chris isn't too sure she wants to hear the answer to that, so she goes for the last part of his reply. "Why didn't you call her in two weeks? You should've called her the next day and cleared that up."

"It's too late now. She made the decision for me, hasn't she?"

"You still have to call her. And talk to her. This is not helping either of you." Chris encourages her friend to get up and try to fix his relationship.

It takes her a couple of more tries, but in the end, Street leaves her apartment with a _plan._

A couple of days later, Chris sees Molly and Street talking at HQ. She can even see them hugging, and when she walks past, she hears Molly whisper, "Good luck." _Luck? Does Street have some sort of certification coming up?_ Chris can't remember but doesn't think much of it.

She is just glad they seem to have worked out their problem, and that thought brings a small smile to her face. Everything is well in the world again.

The hours roll by, and after a long and busy shift, Chris is glad to be home.

While she finally wants to stretch out on her sofa, she hears a knock on her door.

After she pulls it open, "This is becoming a strange habit." Leaves her lips.

Chris is confused. What is he doing here again? As if on autopilot, she leaves him alone in her living room to once again make some tea—this time to calm herself down. Out of the corner of her eye, she notices him. He has chosen the armchair this time, and he watches her intently.

From his nervous fidgeting, she can surmise he is anxious about something.

The soft beeping of her tea timer indicates she has to leave her refuge and figure out what Street is doing here again.

His stare is sort of unnerving, and it leads to her choosing a seat, not in this direct line of sight. This time around, the silence isn't very long. He clears his throat. "Chris, will you look at me?"

At that moment, Chris realizes her eyes have been fixed on her mug the whole time. "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be out with M..."

"We aren't together anymore. So no, I shouldn't be out with her." Street interrupts her. She holds his gaze for a few seconds and then needs to look down again. "I don't understand... I saw you today. You were smiling, hugging. She wished you good luck." Chris's thoughts run wild. _What is going on?_

"You asked why I am here. Well, I need to say something. I don't know if it is smart... all things considered. But I have to do it anyway. Talking things through with Molly made me realize, I can't keep lying to myself. Chris, can't you see? There is something here that would be worth exploring. I know where you stand on this subject, and I won't bother you, but I needed you to know." Unexpectedly he gets up, and when he leans forward to put his mug down on the table, Chris flinches backward.

Even with her head down. She can see his pained expression.

"Why… What…" Chris starts but needs to stop again. "Street, what am I supposed to say to that? You know…" He pulls open the door but turns back to her. "You just did it. I understand. Like I said, I won't mention this again. And I never expected anything. You never even use my first name. It paints a picture." She can barely hear him at the end, and it breaks her heart. Her own voice is barely a whisper too. "Calling you Jim would make this even harder." and she is not sure he can hear her. Chris hears her front door fall shut and breathes in deeply. _He didn't hear._

She had always tried to keep that professional distance, even in their private moments. It helped manage her own feelings at least for a while, and it kept them in check.

"Why would what be harder?" she hears his voice and almost jumps out of her seat. She sees him kneel down in front of her and feels his fingers on her hands. Chris knows she should just make up a story, but she can't.

She takes a couple of deep breaths. But they barely help. Having him this close makes her nervous, and it takes an effort to collect her thoughts. She has to be honest.

"I can't call you Jim and not tell you how much you mean to me. But here we are. Over the last couple of months, it was hard not to say anything, but you were happy. You deserve that… I am not sure I can give you that. You know how important it is for me not to compromise my reputation. You can't risk yours either. Not after all the hard work you put in to get back on the team. To earn back the trust and respect of everyone. The team is your family, and I would never want you to jeopardize that for me. For an us."

When she lifts her eyes from her hands, Chris can see his confusion and hurt. He looks almost as broken as he was in the kitchen at HQ. Back when she had slammed that proverbial door in his face. This time it's him.

When she hears the door, fall shut this time he has left without another word.


	5. Chapter 5

When the first rays of sunshine work their way through her curtains, Chris hasn't slept a wink. She feels drained after tossing and turning all night. The events of last night replay over and over in her head. Over breakfast, she even debates staying home. But she can't always take a mental day if something in her personal life is not in the right place. Or blown up completely.

What does it mean that he left wordless? Where are they now? Still friends? Back to not speaking?

Chris tries to drown the swirling thoughts in her head while getting ready for the day. She is kicking herself mentally the whole way to HQ _. Why couldn't I just stay silent?_ Her mind is all over the place, and she is more than glad that today is a scheduled training day. The only way the team is on today is if all hell breaks loose.

When she pulls into the garage, she can see his bike already there. From the look of it, the whole team is already inside. Chris takes one last deep, steadying breath and gets out of her car. She hopes she can find a way to fix this mess, although she has no idea how. _Maybe I should take a page out of his playbook and just try to talk to him?_

For once, the locker room is quiet and empty. Chris is thankful for that. It gives her the extra minutes to prepare herself for today. She has no idea how Street will act today. How should she react?

When she pulls open her locker, a small piece of paper falls out, and after picking it up, she recognizes his handwriting. Involuntarily her heart stops for a second. She is too scared to unfold the paper and read it. She gets changed, and again her eyes fall onto the note. Her fingers lightly trace over the edge of the sheet. She sits down and unfolds the paper.

_I am sorry I left yesterday without saying anything, but I had to. Before I said something, we would both regret today. I never expected you to say what you did. And I still can't process what that means for us now._

_For what it's worth, I meant it. Whether we are colleagues, teammates, or friends, it's your decision. I am not going to force you into making a decision. Or into anything at all. I couldn't. Not with everything you told me. I am taking my cues from you from now on._

_PS Luca knows about Molly. He forced it out of me last night. So, I am guessing by the time you read this. The team is caught up, so to speak._

Chris can't help but reread the little piece of paper multiple times and wonder why he didn't include one more option in the choices. It oddly hurt. At the same time, she shakes her head at herself. She had shut that door very harshly—multiple times.

Why does it hurt then? The voice in her head asks, and she knows why. But there is no chance she will open that door. Chris wills her thoughts to drop that train. She shuts her locker with a little more force than usual and startles herself with the loud clanking sound.

Chris squares her shoulders one more time before approaching the rest of her team. Tan, Luca, and Deac seem to be in a lively discussion while Hondo looks like he is giving orders to Street.

"Morning," she mumbles to no one in particular when she has arrived near them, and everyone turns to face her slightly. All of them return the greeting. Hondo lifts his hand, and Street flashes a quick, almost shy smile.

Without overthinking, Chris decides to return the smile. It had been hard to cut him out of her life, and she is almost sure she can't do it again. It wouldn't work even if he put the ball firmly in her hands. There is one thing Chris is actually sure of: Jim Street never gives up on his friends.

"Tonight, after shift, you all have to come over. I bought a new grill, and we have to test it out together!" Luca exclaims full of energy and starts collecting high-fives as his way of getting confirmation of attendance.

Chris can't help herself with the little teasing.

"Let's just hope this day doesn't turn out like the last one you tried to have us over. But yeah, I am in." Chris replies and searches for Street's eyes. They both nod their heads. A silent confirmation that they will talk later.

"I don't think it can turn out that way. Rocker is up first, and Hondo set up poker for us.," Tan throws in., "You think, you'll win again, Chris?" she hears the teasing in his voice. The smirk tells her he trained. But she is intent on defending her _title_. There is a reason she gets the sierra assignments most of the time. She is the best.

The sniper exercise was just what Chris needed today. It gave her more time to think about what she wanted and what she could say or do to not make it worse. No one could question why she and Street were not joking with each other. They were separated since every one of them had drawn a card and found their corresponding perch. She had to give it to Hondo. He found a way to set up their own version of 7 card stud and make it interesting. The card, corresponding to their perch, was card one, and everyone knew the cards of the others. Well, if they'd make an effort actually to pay attention and remember them.

When Chris had drawn her 2 of hearts, the guys made fun of her, but the small wink from Hondo told her all she needed to know. He had, as always, set it up so every one of them could have the highest hand in the end. The rest of the rules were simple enough: Six targets on the range had playing cards on them. Shoot one card from each target. A card with a hole in it is already taken. Hondo calls out the name of who is up next. And since Chris had won last time, she has to go last.

They all tease each other when it is all over. Much to everyone's surprise, Deacon takes the win this time. But it is a good thing. Because somewhere along the way, the guys had decided the winner would be hosting the next team outing. And the Kay family home was always an excellent place to have a get-together.

She drove herself over to Luca's place. She had entertained the idea of taking an Uber, but thinking back to the last time she had nixed that idea quickly. Getting home would be difficult as she'd probably have to wait a while. Also, getting a ride from anyone else was sort of out of the question. She wanted to be able to decide herself when she leaves. Just in case something goes wrong tonight. However, she would never admit to that second part out loud. Why is she so scared to face Street again, _alone_? Sitting in her car outside the house, she can hear their voices through the open window. One last glance in the mirror and a deep breath, and she manages to leave the safety zone.

When she has arrived at the patio door, she lightly taps the glass to announce her presence, and everyone greets her happily. With her car keys dangling from her finger, Luca passes her a ginger ale, which she gladly accepts and takes a sip. Chris lets her eyes wander, and when they cross Street's, they share a small nod. Their way of making sure they will talk later. _Somehow._

The evening is fun. The banter is almost too painful for her stomach. She is laughing the whole time virtually.

SWAT is a family. This team indeed is. Chris can't deny she feels comfortable with all of them around. Even the few awkward moments when she and Street are close to each other. Well, except for the instance when their fingers brushed each other's, and she got a shock. Chris knows she needs to make an effort. Talk to him.

Her chance comes quicker than expected. Looking around, she can see everyone but him outside in the garden. The thud of a basketball draws her gaze over to the other side of the street. He is just sitting there on a bench bouncing the ball. _When did he leave?_

Without giving herself much time to think she follows her impulse and goes to check on her _friend._ A pat on her back pocket confirms the folded piece of paper is still in there.

She stops walking a few paces away from him. "Hey." Her own voice sounds hollow. "Can we just talk for a moment?" Chris is unsure why he left the house and tries to find out if this is a good moment. If it isn't, she isn't sure she'll find the courage again to be alone with him.

She can see the surprise on his face before it gets replaced by curiosity and _anticipation_. When Street makes room for her on the bench, she is hesitant. She needs the security in not being too close to him right now.

"I wanted to say thank you for this." She continues and pulls the note out. "You don't have to apologize for anything. You have always been there for me, and I was unfair to you." Chris stops herself. This next part is hard for her. She has no idea what will happen next. "I, You, … we worked too hard to find a way to be okay with each other again. I don't want to lose that. You are my best friend. And I hope you can let me be your friend too." Her eyes are fixed on her feet, so she only realizes he got up from his place on the bench when she hears the basketball drop to the ground.

His feet show up in her field of vision, and she hears him whisper, "You'll always be my friend."


	6. Chapter 6

Chris is scared of what might happen next. In her heart, she knows she wants to hug him right now and just let go of her worries, but she won't. The second voice in her head warns her that it might be dangerous, so she acts on impulse and grabs the basketball.

"You think I can make the shot?" she asks while letting the ball soar through the air. It never even makes it close to the basket, and they both start laughing. Chris silently sends a thanks to whomever that the tension seems gone.

She feels even better when Luca and the rest show up for a quick game. After that disaster of an attempt before, she is glad she doesn't get picked for a team. Chris takes the opportunity to just enjoy the view. Sitting on that bench and knowing that she hasn't lost her friend, she develops her new mantra and reminder.

" _Friends. Just friends_."

The next few shifts, nothing remarkable happens, but when Hondo assigns an observation assignment to Chris and Street, she is wary. It is the first time after that night she is truly alone with him again.

She feels a lot more comfortable with others around, but this is the job, and so she gives herself another inner pep talk. Repeats her mantra over and over and gets in the car.

The silence in the car is not uncomfortable per se; it is interrupted by the chatter on the police radio and with frequent reports to Hondo. Still, Chris feels the situation is getting weird. When she reaches for the dial to adjust the AC, her fingers accidentally brush his, and she feels a jolt and almost jumps out of her seat.

_That wasn't weird at all._

The tension is broken by Tan's voice, announcing that their target just pulled up, and Chris takes the opportunity to readjust, and she puts her focus back to the mission.

At the end of the day, she rides back with Tan just to get some breathing room again. Her head is all over the place. When they all had been interviewing witnesses, Street had charmed one of the women with his trademark dimples and full smile into telling him more than she had initially said. Chris had felt jealous, and that confused her to no end. Somehow her mantra failed her, and that is why she chose to ride back with Tan.

She knows it is silly. And not helping, but she needs to believe everything will work out if she just sticks to her plan that they can be just friends. Days like these though, put cracks in that belief.

Chris tells herself she just shouldn't watch him that closely and that she needs to stop overthinking everything. That if she only relaxes, everything will work out. That it won't be weird and awkward anymore.

She dreads going in the next morning. For some reason, Hondo put self-defense on their training schedule, and Chris was not looking forward to it. It's not that she can't defend herself. She has proven herself over and over. She can take care of herself in the field. It is more that she is scared of being close to _him_ again.

In recent weeks she has developed the habit of always having at least one person, a table, or the counter between them if possible. The only exception sitting in Black Betty, that couldn't be helped, but at least there was no real physical contact involved there.

She takes one last look in the mirror of the bathroom and walks out to the ring. The guys are already waiting on her. They start with simple things, and she is relaxed since she is partnered with Luca.

During their first water break, Luca announces that they are all expected to come to his place tonight. He wants to run some new recipes by them. Chris isn't too sure she wants to test her limits, she hasn't partnered up with Street yet, and she is dreading that round. The whole session, she has peeked over at him ever so often. She knows that it is not helping her stance to stay friends. And sometimes, she even dreams of more, but her head always puts her back to _her_ reality.

After a couple of rounds, there is no more avoiding it. She has to change partners again. But before Hondo can announce the next scenario, Hicks comes over and sends the team out. An armed man has holed up in an elementary school. He stormed in during pick up time. It is not even clear how many kids, teachers, and parents are inside.

As horrible as it sounds, Chris is glad to have this case to focus on. After the bouts of jealousy yesterday and the daydreaming today, she needs this. Being in work mode.

When they arrive at the scene, the negotiator is already on the phone with the armed suspect. Hondo quickly sends them all to their respective assignments, which means for Chris to get up to the next building's roof and find a vantage point for a possible shot. The rest of the team figures out the entry scenario, should that become necessary.

Chris is glad to have that reprieve, a possibility to focus on the task at hand. The suspect looks more scared and distraught than aggressive, but she knows that they can be just as dangerous. She hears the others getting into place minutes before the all-clear comes from the negotiator. And to her surprise, the gunman gives himself up peacefully. A deep sigh of relief leaves Chris, not only because this could have gone way different but also because their shift is almost over.

She needs a shower, badly. LA heat, burning sun, and being exposed on a rooftop in full gear is not a great combination.

Although the guys always have been really respectful the last couple of shifts, she even has taken to showering at home. It is crazy, and Chris is almost mad at herself, but for some reason, she feels very self-conscious in that locker room. Especially with him around.

Back at HQ, Lt. Detective Piper Lynch calls Chris to her office. So after quickly changing into her civilian clothes, she heads up there. Someone at the mayor's office needs her to make a statement because of the recent leak of information on the deputy mayors' son. Chris has a feeling that the detective knows a lot more about that leak than she lets on. The small smile on Lynch's lips just confirms that for her.

Chris is already sitting in her truck when she realizes she left her phone in the locker room. She is already running late and still needs to grab a shower before heading over to Luca's place, so she hurries into the locker room to quickly get her phone.

Almost at the same time as Chris sprints into the room, the bathroom door opens, and her plan gets derailed. She is virtually frozen into place.

_Why did he have to walk out of there with just a towel around his waist?_

It takes Chris a second or two to realize she is actually staring at him, and her cheeks start to burn instantly. She wordlessly grabs her phone and flees from the room.

The whole ride home, she chides herself for that silly reaction. Usually, she'd just quip something about showing off and suggest putting on a shirt. With every other team member or officer, she probably would have, but with him? Her mind just went blank.

Chris takes her time getting ready. She needs to calm herself down before she can face him again. Being alone at home helped, but not enough. She knows she can't stall any longer. Luca would be hurt if she didn't show up.

At Luca's, she has fun. The food is fantastic, and they all hang out together. Just enjoying an evening, without worries. Chris sticks to her routine of keeping at least one person or piece of furniture between herself and Street, all the while wondering when and if someone will comment on that.

But she needs that security blanket. She couldn't risk them accidentally touching. The conscious effort to maintain that distance takes its toll on Chris, and a resolution forms in her head. Even if it scares her, she knows they need to talk this out for the last time. She can't go on like this.

One by one, the team leaves, but Chris has curled up on the sofa. Waiting for the right moment, which seems to be there when Luca announces he'd go walk Duke.

They are alone, and she can hear Street starting to clean up. She stays in her place on the sofa and looks over to him. He doesn't seem to have noticed her yet. She hears the water running while Street starts on some dishes. She can't bring herself to walk over and help. The sofa is her safe haven right now. And so, Chris simply waits for him to notice her.

She listens to the monotonous sounds of water running and the clanking of dishes in the sink until it stops. Then she knows it is only a matter of seconds until he has to notice her, and she hears the exact moment that happens. His footsteps stop with a sliding sound, directly at the counter.

Chris lifts her head and looks at him. She can see the surprise on his face, paired with curiosity.

She is grateful; he takes a seat at the counter and doesn't walk over. She is incredibly nervous already and has no idea how this next part will go. For a while, they just look at each other, and Chris feels like he can read her. But just before the silence can get uncomfortable, or he can ask why she is still here, she blurts out:

"This isn't working for me anymore." It feels like a stab to her own heart when his expression turns to hurt, confusion, and fear when he processes her statement.

"What are you saying, Chris? I don't understand…" the shake in his voice and the defeated undertone twist the knife further, and she has to look away.

Chris knows she needs to explain herself, but she is scared.

"This, us, friends." is all she manages to spit out as her own throat slowly closes up. She hears him taking a deep breath just like she does. "I just, I don't want to feel guilty or be afraid anymore." She doesn't dare look up, and she is at a loss for words.

"So, what do you want, Chris?" the insecurity now in his voice almost breaks her heart, but it also gives her hope that she didn't just ruin everything. That there still is a chance to fix this. Them.

She closes her eyes briefly and summons all her courage to stand up and walk over to him. In a fleeting attempt to control her heartbeat and breathing, she concentrates on her idling fingers. When she finally lifts her eyes to him, she whispers: "I want to be brave!" and leans up before her head has time to stop her again.

She softly presses her lips to his but feels like an absolute idiot when he doesn't react. Feeling her cheeks beginning to flush with embarrassment, she is just about to pull away when she feels his arms tighten around her waist—keeping her in place so he can _finally_ return her kiss.

Chris can't help the sigh escaping her mouth when they eventually pull apart. She rests her head against his chest, just listing to his heartbeat with a smile on her face. He never loosens his arms around her, but softly draws circles at her waist.

She doesn't resist when he turns up her chin, so she looks him in the eye. She knows he has to make sure she is okay that she is sure of her decision. "Where do we go from here?" he asks her and presses a kiss to her hairline.

"We just have to take this one step at a time." she replies before sealing his lips once more with a kiss.


End file.
